I'm A Step-Mom

Let me just be honest...I have no idea what I'm doing when it comes to being a step-mom.  If my step-daughter was a toddler or even a little older than that, I'm sure that I would be doing much better in the step-mom department!  My step-daughter is fourteen years old.  She just started her freshman year in high school.  She really is a sweet girl and very well mannered.  

I just don't know how to become closer to her.  I can relate with the things that she is going through right now because I went through those things when I was her age.  She had her first boyfriend a while back and he broke up with her.  She never mentioned it to me or her dad and I'm sure she was much more comfortable talking about it with her mom.  I don't blame her.  I was the same way when I had a step-mom.  I didn't really talk to her about anything.  

When Alayna and I are alone together, I ask her about school and about her friends and other things, but I just can't seem to get her to open up to me.  I don't want to know everything about her life but when I reach out to her and try to seem interested in her life, I get short answers.  It just feels very awkward between us and I know that she has to feel the same way.  

I've known Alayna since 2008.  That is when Mike and I met.  She was eleven at the time, and she liked me from the get-go.  I just feel that we should be closer since we have known each other for almost three years.  I've never tried to be her mother.  I've always just tried to be her friend, which is how a step-mom should be.  When she is at our house, I don't ask her to do anything(she never makes a mess anyways) and am never nosy when she is on her phone or laptop.  

Why does it feel so awkward between us after three years?  Maybe I'm just over-thinking it and worrying about nothing, but I just wish we were closer.  She has never had anything against me, that I know of.  Her mom and dad broke up before she was born.  So, it's not like they had broken up right before I met Mike.  Maybe this is just how she is and maybe she just doesn't know what to talk to me about.  Maybe she thinks that I don't want to talk to her, even though I feel that I've always shown that I'm open to talk about anything!  

This is frustrating but I guess that is just part of being a step-mom to a teenager.  It doesn't help that I don't have kids of my own.  Maybe then I would understand a little more and would be more motherly!  

If you have any advice, I would appreciate it!  I'm completely lost when it comes to being a step-mom and I just want to be the best one that I can be to Alayna!