Happy New Year!!!

I'm a little late on wishing everyone a Happy New Year but that is because I have been extremely sick for the past week!  As soon as we began a brand new year, I got sick.  I had been fighting sickness for a while and it finally caught up to me.  I went to the emergency room twice last week.  I missed an entire week of work and ended up being put on four prescriptions for a sinus infection and bronchitis.  It has not been fun and I hadn't been that sick in a while!  I do feel better now although I'm still fighting chest and nasal congestion.  I slept all day yesterday because I still wasn't feeling well and now I'm paying for it.  I've been up all night and I have to be at work at 8:00am.  Yuck!  




I've made a few New Year's resolutions and here they are:


1. I will strive to be happy regardless of any struggles that come my way. 


2. I will continue to do well at my job.  


3. I will figure out what my goals are when it comes to going back to school.  I need to figure out what type of career I want to do.  


4. I will spend more time with my mom.  


5. I will continue to grow more in my marriage with my husband.  


6. I will not be as depressed as I was last year.  


7. I will stop worrying so much about everything and everyone and will learn to just go with the flow.


8. I will try to become healthier, even if I don't lose a lot of weight.  


9. I will smile and laugh more.  


10. I will become more of a decorator and will stop being so "blah" when it comes to decorating our home!  I never learned how to decorate a home and it is time to start!!!  ;)  


That is my list for this year.  I decided for this year to make my list "doable" instead of "impossible"!  


Mike and I will be moving at the end of this month and we are so happy to be moving out of Goodlettsville.  We are moving back to Hermitage and we already signed the lease for our apartment, so it is set in stone!  We start moving on the 29th.  We got a large one bedroom apartment and it is perfect for us right now!  In the future we will be buying a home, but right now we are focusing on saving our money!  




I hope that everyone is having a wonderful year so far!  :)  

2011

This year is almost over and I can't believe it!  It has gone by so fast!  


2011 has been a year of ups and downs.  We moved to Goodlettsville in order to be close to Mike's business.  In March, Mike sold his business to his sister because of a lot of unnecessary drama.  I struggled most of the year with finding and keeping jobs.  In June, we went on a much needed vacation to Panama City Beach, Florida.  We had so much fun together and created a lot of new memories that will be cherished forever!  One of those memories is the awful sunburns that we both got while on Shell Island!  It wasn't funny then, but now, it is hilarious!  


On July 21st, Mike and I got married.  It was, by far, the happiest day of my life.  Who would have thought that a courthouse wedding would be perfect for me.....the hopeless romantic who started planning her wedding as a teenager!  I didn't realize that once I met "the one" it wouldn't matter where we got married and that I didn't have to have the most elaborate wedding on the face of the planet.  I am so happy to be married to my best friend and love of my life.  Our wedding was the highlight of this year, by far.  I started dreaming of being married when I was just a little girl so marrying Mike was a dream come true!  I love him with all of my heart and soul and I know without a doubt that our marriage will continue to grow and that we will always love each other more and more every day.  He's my kind of perfect.  :)  


The end of November brought a new job for me and I have been able to keep the job for over a month now.  That is saying a lot since I have quit a lot of jobs in the past.  Depression got me down a lot this year, especially as the beginning and middle part of the year.  But, I was able to get through it without having a mental breakdown and without anti-depressants.  Thank goodness I was able to work through it on my own!  


2012 will hopefully be a wonderful year.  Mike and I are trying to have a baby.  It is going to involve me losing weight and getting on fertility drugs.  I am really hoping and praying that I will get pregnant in 2012, but I am also prepared for let down if it doesn't happen.  I am learning to deal with my infertility/PCOS without getting extremely depressed.  I have to remind myself daily that everything happens for a reason.  If I am meant to have a baby, I will have one.  If not, then it must be God's plan for me.  


We are moving at the end of January.  We will be moving back towards the Hermitage area.  We are ready to be closer to family again!  


I will possibly be going back to school in 2012 although I haven't quite figured out what I want to do!  I am leaning towards the idea of becoming a funeral director but I also have thought about becoming a social worker or something like that.  My mind changes a lot so who knows what I will decide!  I just want a job that I can enjoy and that I won't dread going to every day!  More money would also be nice!  


I guess that is all for now!  Enjoy your New Year's Eve and New Year's Day!  Here I come, 2012!!!  :)

Holidays

When the holidays roll around every year, I feel the same.  I always feel so torn between all of my family members.  Now that I'm married, it is even harder.  Add the fact that my brother is coming in for Christmas and imagine my stress level hitting the highest point that there is!  I know that I can't be in several different places at once but I hate to let anyone down.  

My Dad and I have built a better relationship over the past few months and he is going to be the one that gets let down if he invites me to spend time with him on Thanksgiving or Christmas.  Mike and I have already planned to spend Thanksgiving in Columbia with my mom's side of the family.  After that, my step-daughter is coming to our house to spend the night.  On Christmas, we will be spending time with Mike's parents and daughter.  My brother will be in town for a few days around Christmas, and since I haven't seen him since 2009, I want to spend as much time with him as I can.  It has been several years since I got to spend Christmas with him.  I'm sure that I will be working soon, and I have no idea how my schedule will be set up for Christmas.  It is just stressful.  I want to make everyone happy but I can't.  When you're married, you have to compromise when it comes to holidays.  Last night, Mike and I ended up having a fight over who we were going to spend the holidays with.  It was my fault mostly because I got upset about having to let people down for Christmas.  

Every year, I wish that the holidays would go by fast.  I honestly don't think that it will change until I have a child.  When that happens, the holidays will be about him or her.  I know that I have a step-daughter and that I should make the holidays about her since I don't have a child of my own, and I will, but it still isn't the same as having a precious baby/toddler/little one to spend the holidays with.  

Side note:  I was talking to my mom on the phone last night and out of nowhere she said, "Mattie, I really believe that you will have a baby someday".  At least she believes that, because I have a hard time believing that I will!  I literally long to hold my baby in my arms and to see him/her for the first time.  No one knows what it's like unless you are infertile.  Every so often, you get a sign that you might be pregnant, only to take a test and it come up negative.  After that, you cry, but you get over it.  It's just difficult.  If I could have just one baby, I would be happy.  I wouldn't get upset if I couldn't have another one.  Having one will be a miracle for me since I have been told that I may never have babies.  

I am going to try to make the holidays the best that they can be.  I'm going to try to not get upset about letting people down because the fact is that I can't be everywhere at once and I do have multiple families that want to see me on Thanksgiving/Christmas.  I'm only one person and I have a husband and step-daughter that I have to think of too!  

11/11/11

I just had to post a blog today.  I mean, hello, it's 11/11/11!  Today is also Veteran's Day!  I know several veterans personally and I am so thankful for them.  Without them, we would not be able to live the lives that we all have today.  


This week has consisted of waiting.  I'm waiting on my background check to come back for this job.  I got a call on Monday and was told that they have a case for me.  The person is an elderly woman that was living in a nursing home.  She is now well enough to be at her home.  She lives in Madison which is not far away from Goodlettsville at all.  I'm not sure about the hours.  I know that I will either be working Monday through Friday or just on the weekends.  It depends on if the other CNA has been working for them for a while.  If she has, she will get first dibs on what days she wants.  I'm hoping that they get my background check results back soon, but on Monday I was told that it could be a few weeks.  Once they get that back, I have to go to Murfreesboro and take a drug test and talk to the staff in payroll.  I'm just ready to work!  Sitting in this house is getting old!  


I'm a little nervous about this job.  It's always kind of nerve-racking when you go into the home of a person that you are supposed to take care of.  You don't know much about them to start off with.  You don't know what type of personality they have or if they will even like you.  You worry about whether or not you will be able to cook the foods that they love to eat.  I can cook, especially if there is a recipe to look at but I won't say that I am an amazing cook!  Of course, it could be one of those cases where she only eats certain basic things or the family may pre-make all of her meals.  I won't know until I go in there!  


One of the problems that I have had a lot, is that when I start working with a patient, they tend to think that I am very young.  I look younger than 26 but I think I am out of the period where people thought that I was 18 when I was 23.  When patients think someone is young, they tend to have a hard time trusting them, even though I am one of the most trustworthy caregivers out there!  Patients think that you can't lift them out of a bed, chair, etc. and will fight against you when you go to help them.  That makes it hard on me, but hopefully this person will learn to trust me pretty fast!  I've never dropped a single patient, and I have had hundreds if not thousands of patients since I became a CNT in 2007!  


This weekend Mike and I are going to be pretty busy.  We are going to his parents tomorrow because they are cooking steaks.  Yummy!  We'll spend some time with them and then Sunday we are going to the zoo with them!  Hopefully it won't be extremely cold!  I love spending time with my in-laws even though it makes me miss my own side of the family so much!  


I am so ready to move back to Hermitage.  I have missed that area so much.  Goodlettsville really isn't that bad but it is too far away from my family and there isn't anything familiar to me about this city.  It just doesn't feel like home here!  


I'm going to finish watching 20/20!  :)  Have a great weekend!  

It's Monday!

I'm blogging from my phone, thanks to this wonderful built-in keyboard!  I could never ever blog by using a touch screen.  It takes way too long! 

This past weekend was good!  My husband and I had my step-daughter for the weekend.  We hadn't had her over in a while because she is so busy with school, sports, and her social life!  I remember those days...minus the sports because I was all about music back then! 

I'm still learning about being a step-mom!  It's weird for me to wake up in the mornings when she is here and think, I should go check on her and see if she needs or wants anything!  I've never had kids and I am totally not "momly", if that is even a word.  Motherly is the right word that I was attempting to go for!  I have to remind myself constantly that I need to make sure she is okay and doesn't need anything!  I'm sure that sounds terrible but I'm just not used to it...especially when it comes to a 14 year old!   We had a great weekend together!

Today I'm getting up around 9:30 to run some errands.  I have two orders that I have to pick up at the mall and then my husband and I are going to pay the rest of the money to completely reserve the new Call Of Duty game.  It comes out on Tuesday at midnight....and yes we will be there at that time.  We both love those games and it is something fun that we do together!  Weird, I know...but that is us!  :)

I'm going to try to get some sleep!  I just got finished washing, drying, folding, and hanging a ton of clothes!  Whew!  Good night!

Happenings!

This week has been pretty good to me!  On Monday, I got a call from a home health care/private duty agency that is based in Murfreesboro.  I applied with them several months ago.  I completed a phone interview and was invited to come to orientation on Wednesday.  I asked them about starting pay after the phone interview and was extremely surprised, in a good way.  The pay is very good and is more than I have ever made. 

I went to orientation on Wednesday.  It lasted from 8am to 4pm.  The staff was very thorough and informative.  I had to take and pass several tests, which included an actual skills checkoff in a lab.  I have never been to an agency that does that or even has a lab.  The lab was set up with an electronic "dummy" that breathes and has a heart beat/blood pressure.  Since I was the youngest person at the orientation, I was chosen to do all of the check offs in front of everyone before they had to do theirs.  Of course, that made me nervous because I can't stand when a lot of people are watching me do something....especially if it pertains to something that I am being tested on!  I had to take a manual blood pressure, get the pulse rate, get the respiration rate, take care of the ventilator that was hooked up to the "dummy" at one point, give a bed bath, reposition the "dummy", transfer my orientation instructor from bed to wheelchair to toilet chair to wheelchair and back to bed again, demonstrate how to shave a male and female patient, change an occupied bed, weigh someone using the weight lift, clean the catheter with it still being in the "dummy", empty the catheter, clean around a feeding tube and a g tube, change a diaper, lift the "dummy" off the bed using the sling lift, perform pericare and demonstrate shampooing someone that is bedridden.  I forgot to mention that I did all of that without having any sleep whatsoever the night before and I passed with flying colors! That is great considering that I haven't worked in health care in a while!  There are literally specific ways that those things have to be done and if they weren't done by the book, points were counted off.  The only thing that I messed up on was during the pericare, and I just forgot to fold the washcloth after each swipe.  Oops.  

I passed the written tests with a cumulative grade of 97.  I didn't think that I did that well so I was surprised.  Right now, I am waiting for my background check to come back....and it will because I don't have a criminal history.  Once that comes back, I will have to go back to Murfreesboro to talk to the staff about payroll and to complete a drug test.  After that, I'll be assigned to a case in Madison or Joelton.  

For the first time, in a long time, I am excited about starting a job.  I have been away from health care for a while and have missed taking care of others.  I think that working with only one person at a time will prevent me from becoming burned out like I was when I worked in nursing homes.  I always felt that I couldn't devote enough time to every patient that I had because I always had so many to take care of.  This way, I only have one at a time and can really take my time and be there for them.  It won't be as stressful.  I may work with elderly patients or I might even have a newborn or child to take care of.  I could get a patient of any age.  I hope that I don't get a case where the patient is on a ventilator or comatose but if I do get that type of case, I'll do the best that I can.  It's mentally and emotionally stressful to take care of someone that is in that condition.  I know because I have taken care of several people who were like that.  Thankfully, I'm a pretty strong person and can handle patients in that condition.  

I really hope that this job works out for me.  I think that it will because I will mostly be on my own and won't have a supervisor there looking over my shoulder.  At the most, I might have a nurse come in to check on the patient for a little while or there may be other family members there at different times, but that isn't so bad.  

That is pretty much all that has happened this week.  I'm thankful that I have something going for me when it comes to having a job.  I have been depressed so much because of my job situation and finally everything is getting better!  :)  

Don't forget to set your clocks back an hour!  We get an extra hour of sleep tonight!  

My Wonderful Husband

My husband and I have been married for almost three months now!  It feels like we have been married for way longer than three months, but I guess that is normal when you live with someone for over two years before you get married!  Even though I heard a lot of criticism about us living together before we got married, I don't regret it.  It allowed us to really get to know each other and to see what married life would be like, before we actually got married.  I know what the Bible says about that, and believe me, I understand that in his eyes it is wrong.  At least I can say that I would have never lived with Mike if I didn't see a future with him.  


Mike is my rock.  He's always there for me when I need him.  He literally can read me like a book.  He knows what kind of mood I'm in, just by looking at me.  He can tell immediately when something is bothering me and always goes out of his way to figure out what is wrong and be there.  There are times when my moods are up and down because of my hormone issues and he is always so sweet and understanding about it, even though at times it frustrates him.  


We have so much laughter in our marriage.  Sure, we go through hard times and get into stupid little fights sometimes, but in the end we are always standing together.  We are so goofy sometimes and we literally crack ourselves up.  It's hilarious.  We are definitely "a pair".  


These past few weeks, we have been trapping opossums.  They have taken over our neighborhood and since those type of animals are full of diseases, we trap them and then relocate them.  Early yesterday morning, we caught a huge one.  It was the biggest opossum that we have ever seen.  It was 4:00am when we heard him in the trap.  I went out on the porch to see if the trap had closed on him, and it hadn't.  So I ran over and shut it before he could get out.  Since it was so early, we decided to just let him stay in the cage until we got up for the day.  We got back in bed, and started hearing noises.  The opossum was trying his best to get out of the trap!  Mike went outside and told me to get an old towel to put over the trap.  I gave him one and he covered it up.  (Sidenote: It was still dark outside at this point).  We got back into bed and Mike said, "Well, he'll sleep because his cage is dark now".  I about died!  I said, "Ummm, well sweetie, it was already dark outside before you put the towel over it".  He started laughing and I almost fell out on the floor from laughing so hard!  We were just a little bit sleepy and delirious.  But even now, it cracks me up.  


We then decided that it would be absolutely hilarious to put an ad on craigslist for a free opossum. So, there we are, at 4:30am posting an ad on craigslist for a free opossum.  Can you believe that we actually got several emails?  One person did tell us that we needed to take him to the animal shelter so that they would give him the care that he needed.  The other people that emailed were interested in having the animal as a pet.  Then we got one that apparently wanted the opossum so that him and his brother could eat it.  GROSS!    


Mike and I are just a goofy married couple.  We love to laugh and we come up with the craziest ideas sometimes.  It was both of our ideas to start trapping opossums.  On a regular basis our neighbor comes over and asks us what we are up to now!  She about died when we told her that we had trapped a skunk by accident!  Believe it or not, that skunk was so friendly.  We were able to get up close to it(don't even ask why we decided that would be a wonderful idea) and it didn't even try to spray us.  I guess we're just silly and full of weird ideas at times!  I wouldn't have it any other way!  ;)  We are still waiting to trap a squirrel and a raccoon.  We just think that would be great!  ;) 


I love my husband with all of my heart.  I've never in my life felt so close to someone and so connected on every level that there is.  He is my everything!  :)