Matt Douglas

Three years ago, this month, I lost my best friend.  On the night of September 4, 2008 we had planned to meet up and spend some time together.  He was at his friend's house, repairing a computer and after that he was going to meet me at the lake.  I left my apartment and drove to the lake.  On the way I called him to see when he would be done at his friend's.  He told me that he was almost finished and would call me when he was on his way.  Before I got to the lake, he called me and told me that he was on Briley Parkway and would be at the lake soon.  When I got to the lake, my cousin called me.  We talked for a while and when I was done talking with her, I realized that we had been talking for an hour and Matt hadn't called or anything.  I immediately knew that something was wrong.  

I started calling him and didn't get an answer.  I left a voice mail thinking that he had gotten sidetracked and had to stop somewhere.  After another hour went by and I had called him several times, I decided to start looking for him.  I drove down Elm Hill Pike and then went back towards Hermitage and drove over Old Hickory Blvd so that I could see the interstate.  I don't know why I didn't get on the interstate the whole time that I was looking for him.  I think that maybe God was protecting me from seeing something that I might not have been able to handle.  

I went to the house where Matt lived and talked to his roommates.  I told the owner of the house that I knew that something was wrong because Matt wasn't answering his phone or returning my voice mails.  I mentioned that maybe something had happened with his health.  He had diabetes and I always worried about him taking his insulin on time or having it when he needed it.  I was scared that he had gone into a diabetic coma or something and was on the side of the road.  The owner of the house tried to call and once again, Matt didn't answer.  He got on the internet and checked to see if there were any wrecks reported.  There weren't any.  He called Summit Medical Center and asked if there was anyone named Matt Douglas there.  They told him that no one had come in with that name.  At that point, we knew that there wasn't anything that we could do.  We just talked for a little bit and both were hoping that Matt had gone to see a family member or something.  I just had a gut feeling that something terrible had happened but I couldn't figure out what.  

At around midnight I went to Mike's house.  We had met that same day and when I told him what was going on, he told me that I could come and hang out there so that I would still be in Hermitage when Matt called or someone called.  I lived in Antioch at the time.  Plus, my cell phone was dead and I needed to charge it so that if Matt did call, I would be able to answer.  

I had only been there about 30 minutes, when I checked my Myspace account.  I had a new message and it was from Matt's good friend, BJ, who was another one of his roommates.  All that it said was for me to please call him.  My heart literally sunk in my chest.  I knew then that something terrible really did happen to Matt.  When I called BJ he sounded terrible.  He told me that Matt's parents had called him and that Matt was at the hospital because he had been in a car wreck.  At that point, I thought that Matt was still alive.  I remember asking BJ if we needed to go to Summit and I will never forget the next few words that he said to me.  He told me that he didn't know if we needed to go there because Matt was dead.  I remember letting out a blood-curdling scream and then getting back on the phone and asking BJ if Matt was really dead.  Obviously, I was in shock.  I calmed down enough to ask BJ if he wanted me to come over there so that we could be there for each other and he said that he was just going to try to go to bed.  I could tell that he was in shock too.  

Matt had gotten onto to I40 from Briley Parkway and was heading towards Hermitage.  At mile marker 218, he somehow hit the guardrail, and his car flipped over it and fell down a hill close to a subdivision.  I don't think anyone will ever know what really happened.  I heard something about a hit and run but I also heard that maybe he lost control of the car for whatever reason.  Someone in the subdivision heard the crash and called 911.  When they got there, they tried their best to save him but they couldn't.  

I lost a piece of my heart that night.  I remember blaming myself because Matt was on his way to see me, when he died.  I was the last person that he talked to before he died.  When I went home that night I was completely in shock.  I kept talking to myself and asking why this had to happen.  I kept calling Matt's phone and listening to his voice on his voicemail and leaving messages.  It was absolutely terrible.  I even talked to Matt on the way home, while I was driving.  I kept saying that I was sorry and was literally begging him to come back.  I've never taken anything as hard as I took Matt's death.  

The days following his death were hard.  I was scared to go to the funeral because I didn't know how his family would react.  I had put it in my head that they would blame me because he was driving to meet up with me when he died.  I know now of course that I was wrong about that.  They didn't blame me at all.  I did go to the visitation and funeral even though it was extremely difficult.  Seeing my best friend laying in a casket was absolutely heart wrenching.  I just wanted to shake him and wake him up.  

Now, it has been 3 years.  I still miss him so much.  He was genuine, loyal, honest, friendly, smart, and funny....just to name a few of his attributes.  He was ALWAYS there for me no matter what time of day it was.  If I was having a hard time at 3:00am, it didn't matter, because I could always call Matt and he would answer the phone and talk to me for hours...even if he had to be at work that morning.  He was one of the sweetest guys that I have ever known.  He will never be replaced. I will never find another best friend like him, other than my husband.  The day that he passed away was the same day that I met my husband.  I like to think that Matt had something to do with that.  Like...maybe he nudged Mike into my life the moment that he died because about the time that they said that he died was the same time that Mike called me and told me to come to his house to wait on Matt's call.  Maybe he knew that I would need someone and since he couldn't be there for me anymore, he sent Mike to me.  That may sound crazy but I believe it.  

I like to think about the good times that Matt and I had together.  We always had a lot of fun.  He made me laugh and I know that I made him laugh and smile too.  We were there for each other, just like best friends are...through anything and everything.  I know that he is in a much better place but I will miss him every single day until I see him again in heaven.  

RIP Matthew Douglas...you will forever be loved and missed!

May 13, 1981 to September 4, 2008