Today has been a rough day. My Aunt Ruth is not doing well at all and won't be here much longer. I went to see her today with my dad. I definitely wasn't prepared to see how she was when we got there. Her mind is mostly gone but it comes and goes. She knew who I was off and on and her face would light up each time she remembered. It broke my heart. I just held her hands and talked to her. She is in a lot of pain and I just don't want her to suffer anymore. This all happened so fast and I honestly didn't realize how bad it was until I saw her today. I wasn't prepared to have to say goodbye but once I saw her I realized that I might not see her again after today.
She was a big part of my life when I was growing up. She lived close by and was like a grandmother to me. She came to grandparents day at my elementary school several times when my grandparents couldn't make it. She went to a lot of my piano and violin recitals and was just always around me. I remember going to her house and having so much fun. She never missed my birthday and used to give me savings bonds on any special occasion. She stepped in as a grandmother because my dad's mom wasn't around us when we were growing up. She is such a sweet woman and I am going to miss her terribly. I regret not spending more time with her. That is really eating at me right now. She was such an important part of my life when I was younger and I should have made more of an effort to see her and spend time with her.
Even though her mind goes in and out right now, I'm glad that I got to tell her that I love her. It was when she had remembered who I was and her face lit up and she told me she loves me too. I have so many wonderful memories from when I was younger and I am so thankful that she has been in my life for such a long time. I just hope that she doesn't have to suffer much longer. I will miss her so much, but she will be going to a much better place and hopefully I will get to see her again someday.
